Day 89 – Tuesday deep thoughts

Day 89 – Tuesday deep thoughts

I love Jack Handey’s deep thoughts from the old Saturday Night Live show and from the books he has since written and I highly recommend them to anyone who needs a laugh or two or a hundred. But my deep thoughts are not as funny – They come from my Ecclesiastes meditation for the day. I read half of the first chapter before going to swim and something in there really stuck with me as I threw myself into the relatively warm waters of my “short term furnished apartments” pool. As my body worked hard so did my mind and it was refreshing. I think I will meditate on something before swimming every day.

What stuck out to me? In my version it says, “the more knowledge, the more grief.” Basically I took this to mean that if you commit yourself to knowing more, you will be filled with more mourning. Like the saying, “Ignorance is bliss.” Like if I had no idea that people were being slaughtered in the Sudan, I would not be grieved by it. If I didn’t know that there was a very active sex trade, I would not be grieved by it either. If I keep myself in ignorance, I can just walk around as a happy-go-lucky person moving around as if nothing is wrong in our world. Now, I’m not saying that this is the right way to approach life. I think that the author of Ecclesiastes was just saying that you will become knowledgeable about the world around you and you should be prepared to grieve some of it. I count myself as someone who keeps their knowledge very local and thus don’t feel too much grief. But, I think that since God made the whole world, I need to move beyond the Lubbock newspaper to the New York Times so I can be aware of more – even if it makes me feel worse. There is power and depth in dealing with sad things – I think it will make me not take for granted the very limited troubles I experience. Anyway, it is interesting to me that one simple phrase in a book can turn my whole worldview around. That’s one of the coolest things about the Bible. If you want to be challenged to see things as they really are, it provides you that opportunity.

Beyond those depths, I worked a lot on church architects and Lubbock Pre-K accounts. Both of them are steady, but I just have this thought that I need to do more to keep them rising. I’m not being lazy with my efforts on their behalf but I do feel that there is a need to do more for them – despite my not knowing what that is exactly.

As for Melissa, her recovery is incredible. She still has some physical therapy, but her resiliency has been extraordinary. She gives God the credit for that. I do too.

Okay, that’s all I have for today – a good Tuesday – May you have deep thoughts that deepen you but don’t crush you with grief. And as usual, please let me know your thoughts on my thoughts. Thanks.

Day 84 – Thursday Thirst

Day 84 – Thursday Thirst

No more Claritin last night and it was a normal night of eight-hour joy. I think sleep is far underrated – I consider it one of the best parts of existence. And I bet insomniacs would agree with me – Sure there would be no Tyler Durden if everyone got normal amounts of sleep and that would create the absence of an important cultural icon and a lack of soap. But I think it a shame that some people cannot get sleep – what a nightmare (see what I did there, my fellow clever people). I did have another interesting dream about a walking and talking robot that took criminals to a guillotine and chopped their heads off after saying the same thing to each one, “Say farewell to your thinking machine,” and then boom the blade falls. But the head didn’t stay in the head basket. It instead hopped out of the basket and bounced down the street singing the theme to “Friends.” I think I might secretly be crazy or maybe I just need to relieve my work stress with insane dreams.

Anyway, I got a call from my Midland Corporate Housing clients (I think I forgot to tell you that I picked them up) who wanted to see their current analytics. I was happy to send it over since it revealed a good jump in how many people were visiting their site. Strangely though, the guy who I spoke with on the phone with me ended the call with a “bye-bye-bye-bye friend of the spokesman.” Then he hung up. I don’t know if he had a sudden mental break. I pinched myself since this was the kind of thing that would happen in a dream. Was this guy just trying to entertain himself by confusing me or was this his normal goodbye? I tried to shake it off of my mind for the whole day, but I couldn’t. Who the crap is the spokesman? Am I in the Matrix? Have I been transported to Orwell’s 1984?

I was relieved when I got off the phone with the lawn care specialists later in the afternoon because they didn’t say anything like this when they got off the phone. It was just a normal “Bye, man.” When I spoke with Melissa later in the day, I used the weird goodbye to see what she would do, and she called me right back after I had hung up. She was laughing and asking, “Who the hell is the spokesman?” I explained the situation and she thought it was as bonkers as I did. How did that guy get hired by a respectable company? He must have been dared to do it by his colleagues. Nobody would ever do that professionally.

Sorry. I am still ranting about this. It just threw me.

My meditation today was about thirsting for God in a dry and weary land where there is no water. I love the way the Psalmist puts that. What a desperate cry for God’s presence. I feel spiritually dry sometimes and long for more of God, but I don’t think I’ve ever felt that thirsty. I wonder why…