Tag Archives: hope

Down In It?

Down in it – Anyone ever felt deeply depressed?

My world of depression 10 years ago:

The more I know, the more grief I have.  All my hopes have been deferred.  Everything is meaningless.  I will not be remembered long after my death.  My chemicals are all jacked up.  I cannot feel joy.  I am not as happy as everyone else.  I am lonelier than I have ever been.  I don’t want to chase money anymore.  There must be More.  I am driven by fear.  I am unable to be intimate with anyone.  No one understands me.  I would prefer not to be known anyway.  I am so depressed.  I feel paralyzed.  I want to tear my skin off.  I’m sick of faking it.  I don’t want to be rejected anymore.  I don’t want to hate myself anymore.  Technology is not making me feel any better.  My distractions have lost their ability to capture my interest.  Where is the joy?  I’m desperate.  I think I am the only one.  I think it would be best to disappear.  I am ready to surrender.  I plant my white flag in the hard earth and bury my dreams.  The drugs don’t work.  The fun is not as fun as I thought it would be.  The thrill is gone.  Love is empty.  I feel alone.  I am alone? 

I’m down in it.

And so are millions of others who see life as it really is and cannot stand to face it any longer.  We dig together, but we choose to live in a solitary confinement where we bide time until death proves us right.  The psychiatrists are just guessing at solutions and their prescriptions just turn us into fatter zombies.  The side effects are deadly.  Do you know what I am talking about?  Do you deeply know it?  Are you suffering like I am?  Have you hit the wall going 100 miles per hour and still breathe out the daily pain?  If so, this is a book for you.  It’s one voice shouting out from the depths in rhymes and streams and crazy, true stories.  It’s poetry for the dying, words for the lonely, and dangerous love for the broken.  Read it aloud.  Scream it to the ceilings.  And know you are not alone.  We surrender, but we don’t give up.  

This is our manifesto for life in the wasteland.

Jesus Walks Away, Mr. Kanye

Props to the WEST side

So, if pride goes before a fall, then Kanye is gonna drop like a sack of steel loaded potatoes hurtling downwards from a super high building in Idaho.

And it is going to hurt.

I’m not wishing that on him.  I’m just rolling with the classic Bible statement (pride goes before a fall) and laying it next to his own quotes about himself – Add his words to his behaviors – and you got some serious Tom Petty free falling action coming to a guy who has some serious talent, but who lets the world tell him he is bigger than Jesus –

Yep, Mr. Kanye – We can tell you haven’t talked to God in so long and we even bet you would try to upstage Him at the Grammys if God cared about winning Best Eternal Artist –

I wonder what your future on this planet will be like.

I can easily see that you are damaged from your past days and that makes me pretty sad.

I’m messed up too (A WHOLE LOT)  and I fall hard out of arrogance.  But dude, if you don’t take up some Philippians 2 and Colossians 3 “attitudinals” and apply them asap, you are going to feel a contrast so terrible that you will wish you had never tasted fame.

Jesus still walks but you gotta stop walking away.

Who cares if you gain the whole world?  The world is passing away – Buy stock in the eternal, bro.

You ain’t listening to me – You wouldn’t hear me unless I was made of gold, played like Lebron, looked like Beyonce, and/or had an honorary doctorate from Gucci.  But, you should.  And I hope the Holy Spirit gets your ear before you face plant off of a Grand Canyon dive – You are not as bad as Nebuchadnezzar was and I hope your future isn’t like his pre-animal fall – But I truly do hope you end up where he ended up – Praising your Maker and finding healing and true joy.

Sucks to fall and it even sucks harder to fall in love with this silly culture – I am the small fish in the smallest pond, but I fell in love with myself and my reflection in others’ eyes like you have.  And I am still paying for it –

I’m not like US magazine hoping for you to lead balloon it…

I’m just a small market media company guy (Go Dream Taxi, Go.)

And, I’ve got hopes that you get better and find best.

May you choose to drop speed and choose lower altitudes on your own – not choose to keep up the climb until your engine stalls, like mine did – The Himalayas at 1,000 mph don’t taste good, Yeezie!

God will not be mocked – We reap what we sow!!!

And yet – GRACE –

find that – get wise – your long-term could be beautiful – not dark and twisted.

(Read Mesus by Loud A. Smith – it will open your eyes.)

Mesus: PartOne
Read it, Kanye. It’s your first official post-doctoral assignment…