What should every individual do before taking those risky and beautiful steps down the wedding aisle? (Besides booking the best Lubbock wedding venue and event center, of course)
A. Order a Human-Fax Report
Most people in this country will not even purchase a used car nowadays without finding out about its history. For years, there were far too many lemons sold, far too many bad buys and far too many machines breaking down before the first payment was made.
In response to this problem, some genius out there created a system by which potential car buyers could check out an automobile before making an expensive commitment and plunking down their hard earned cash. This Car-Fax reporting system has been used by millions of people to find out whether the car they are considering has been wrecked or in any way mistreated. People can find out about a driving machine’s repair history and then make an informed decision about the possible purchase. With this information in hand, a buyer can know whether this car is worth the risk.
Now I am not saying that getting married is the exact same thing as buying a car, but one thing the above makes me wonder is why people insist on this sort of intense information gathering when it comes to car buying but rarely seek to discover the detailed history of a potential mate. I believe this level of tire kicking is necessary not only for buying a used Audi but also (and certainly more so) for purchasing a marriage partner. After all, isn’t a life commitment to another human being, who might turn out to be a walking talking lemon, a bigger decision than monthly payments?
I believe this is a huge deal and that is why I advise all of my counselees, before they get married, to fill out a “Human Fax” report (and order one from their mate).
While there is no actual faxing to be done, the idea remains the same — People providing vital and detailed histories about their brokenness, about their past wreckage and about their repair status so that someone else can make an informed decision as to whether or not they want to enter into a commitment.
While it is true that someone can lie about their past and present condition, it is not likely. After all, most people want to be somewhat honest when they step into a relationship because they want the same sort of honesty to come back to them. Thus, the value of this “Human Fax” is huge. It reveals to both parties potential areas of weakness and places in need of repair. And just because a “Human Fax” report exposes these types of things does not mean that a relationship will be a lemon. Just because someone has wreckage does not mean that they are un-drivable. It just brings reality into the open and hopefully draws individuals into the hands of mechanics who are able to help them become “roadworthy.”
To those in pre-dating mode: I recommend that you fill one of these outtoo. Even those who do not yet have a significant person in mind for marriage. It is never too early to look under your own hood and to get yourself into the shop. (It has been interesting to work with single individuals on their “Human Fax” reports because what they find are the very problems that have been stalling their romantic pursuits in the first place.)
In the next article, I have included an example of a “Human Fax” report. It uses symbolic car language. Don’t let that throw you off. Just roll with my weird brain for a bit and answer the questions you feel are relevant.
For those spiritual people out there: As you fill this out, ask God to search you and show you the truth of your condition. If there are lots of problems with your car, do not despair. Simply seek repair. If you are filling this form out with a significant other, make sure to offer grace to both them and yourself. Talk together about what must be done so when you take this longest relational road trip of your lives, you will be able to make it to your destination with minimal problems.