Day 141 – Thursday Fires
Just a note to self – I am getting behind on my blogging – Sometimes I am writing about the three days previous because I am not scheduling myself appropriately. It’s not that I have become busier – just prioritizing badly. I know that this journaling discipline has been and is good for me because it stops time from just passing me by without thinking. I will try to do better as I go along. Okay – enough apologizing to myself for that – let’s begin this one.
Still loving my Lubbock corporate housing but hating the treadmilling – Still loving Melissa but getting nervous as we approach our wedding date. I know it is months away from now, but I keep having this thought: What if I turn out to be a really terrible husband? I could you know – I could be fooling myself and thinking that my ability to live well alone will translate into living well together. So, to educate myself/[prepare myself, I decided to buy a book called Life Together by Dietrich Bonhoeffer at the suggestion of my (now) friend at the lawn care company. I mentioned my nerves to the president one day when he asked me about the impending event and I told him about my fears. So, he said that this was a good book to dive into to understand how to couple in a positive way. So far it is a good read.
Speaking of clients, I am still working hard for all of them and doing all I can to help them to find ways to increase their exposure. The system I use seems to fit just about everyone, which is a plus. I do have to make some tweaks for each one of them to make them industry specific (inbound content) but I am glad that I have set up a system that works across the board. This makes my vocational life easier and since it creates success for my clients, we all end up happy. Why I just wrote that I am not sure…
Maybe I am just trying to justify my system so that I don’t have to think too hard about my work. I certainly have this justification when it comes to my Lubbock catering business. It’s become like a plug and play auto-system. But they seem happy and that is the point right?
Maybe I am just trying to keep my fair distance from having to be creative.
My meditation: I am continuing in Job and am just so appalled at how his supposed friends show up in front of him and basically start haranguing him. Job was absolutely in his rights to be in despair and filled with difficult questions for them and with God. He had had everything taken away from him and was suffering from painful sores all over his body and these guys come over trying to disprove his arguments and answer his questions with clichés that never help anyone. Here’s what I got out of it – listen more to people who are suffering. I don’t have to be the smart person or the more “righteous” person when I come face to face with others’ loss. I just have to be present and I just need to listen. Why make someone who is suffering suffer any more than they already are because I have things to speak into their lives? It’s useless. I hope if I ever lose as much as Job that I do 1/10th as well as this Job did. The New Testament tells us to remember Job when speaking of enduring hardship, so his situation and his reaction is relevant for all of us.